5/23/16
5:46 p.m. my text to Jayme "He's gone Jayme." My next text in the same minute is "I held his hand through his last breath."


7/1/16
9 a.m. and he is on my mind.


6/30/16
6:15 p.m. Gb, mom, and I stopped at the gravesite and had to tidy a bit. That's who we are. The dirt remains fresh and the cemetery has placed about 3 pounds of grass seed on the soil. Gb left a yellow lizard there for him. Mom recently brought flowers by. And I, I picked up a clear rock laying directly between his burial ground and Grandma Genevieve Elizabeth Phinney. That rock, was for me. It was meant for me to see, for me to recognize, and for me to hold with me. So I do. So I did. And it will ride in my car until I find something better to do with it.


What is my normal now? What do I do to get there? Place other priorities in place of my grandpa?


So confused.